Yesterday was day two. I successfully manged to get out of bed at the crack of dawn (7:15 really) and get my workout in. 300 calories- not much, thanks to the cold that made me feel asthmatic. Shake for breakfast-I've moved from water to light soy milk for a little more sustenance and a lot more flavor. I'm not ashamed to admit to many people that I've begun this weight loss journey. The more people who know, the more people who expect to see results.
Lunch yesterday was another delicious shake. Actually, with the soy and some water to thin it out, its like a milkshake, so I can't complain too hardily there. Snacks: 2 different 100 calorie slim fast bars. I'm leaving town tomorrow first thing so I'm hesitant to buy fresh fruit before I return. In the meantime, I've taken to the Snickers wannabes that Slim Fast sells. The second one I stuffed in my mouth on my way to the Y to meet my trainer because the food headache from hell was slowly consuming my body.
Talked to the trainer- got her on board. We're going to have weekly weigh-ins and my lazy ass is moving from only 30 minutes 2x a week with her to an hour at least 2x a week (most likely 3x). That way I don't have to do the weight work myself. Good news is, she thinks I have the muscle to help loose weight. Now if I could only get my cardio kicked up-I'm in such bad shape that seems like a long time away, but the fiance swears in a week or two, life will be good. Maybe I can start running again! Or not.
Dinner- our favorite organic locale, Pink Elephant. Chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat berry, with the chips substituted for a cup of tomato basil. Hearty and solid- yum yum.
Last nights weigh in: 187. I'll take it. At least it means I'm out of the 190s...for now.
Today started a little slowly. I didn't make it to the Y in time for my morning workout so tonight, I get to double the cardio. At least the fiance is coming with me and a recently updated iPod should keep me going through that hour of hell. I did have my shake for breakfast so still on track with the food. 6am flight out to DC tomorrow, oh joy.
The list to do today includes:
-Dillards to return some overpriced shoes (I paid $139 in Dillards, plus sales tax. Found them on the manufacturers website for $69.50 and NO sales tax because they have no store in the state I live in and free shipping because I bought them on cyber Monday!)
-Wal Mart- toys for the underprivileged and travel bags
-paying rent/bills (oh joy, first day of the month where I effectively write away almost my entire pay check)
-packing
-working out
....just joyously fun right? Right.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
The worst oh #&*! moment
I'm not looking for followers or friends, sympathy or support, but an anonymous outlet to share my thoughts beyond the pages of my journals. This is going to be highly self-absorbed and self-serving, but then again this is not for you, this is for me. This is my not so private attempt at therapy- my own accountability to myself.
I'm 20-something, educated girl from an upper middle class/upper class Midwest/Southern family depending on how you configure your states. I didn't grow up eating Doritos's, Nutty Butty bars or other general crap. I grew up on an organic diet, home cooked meals, living the life of a foodie-in-training. At 17 I weighed 120lbs at 5'8. I was always athletic, but even as that declined, my body didn't.
Slowly but surely, the downward spiral began. No, I didn't gain the freshman 15- I actually lost weight living in the dorms on a diet that largely consisted of vodka and cheap beer dashed with a bit sushi and frozen entrees from the grocery store in the bottom of my dorm. Maybe it started in the sorority house? Still on party-hardy version of the liquid diet, with the occasional lunch and dinner from the wonderful house cook. But in general, life was still good-trekking along in bikinis during river trips and the leggings and tunics in the winter without a hint of cellulite. Possibly when I moved in by myself and had dinners of cookie dough and Dr. Pepper just because I could. Gym? Nope, always been a perfect size 6. I even managed to study abroad in Italy and not put on a pound living on pasta and red wine. Gosh those were the glory days.
Fast-forward to today. Working on my next two degrees after the Bachelors. Engaged to the cutest guy on God's green earth (who is absolutely in the best shape), great job in higher education...cute clothes, great shoes- you know, the things all girls want. So where did it go wrong? How did I get here today- 190lbs?
I knew the weight had been putting on. Slowly bikinis faded into stylish one pieces which faded into avoiding the pool and beach altogether. Jeans went from a 28 to a 29 to a 30 to now a 31. I'm not exactly small-boned, but I've always been "athletic." Now I'm just soft. Boobs- man, the things I used to want more than anything at a 34B four years ago, have now exploded to a 34DD, and I'd give anything for my mosquito bites back. I've got a trainer, but that only gets me to the gym two days a week for 30 minutes. I eat healthy, but indulgences include wine and good beer, cheese- lots of it, pasta and ice cream. Mmmm ice cream.
And then I looked in the mirror. And stepped on the scale. And had a nice beat down from my image-concerned mother. So today it beings: metabolic reset shake in the morning, Fiber35 shake for lunch, snacks in between and a "sensible" diner. Cardio 2x a day- Lord have mercy on my soul and those around me (I'm mean when I'm hungry). 50lbs to go, ideally in 5-6 months.
I'm 20-something, educated girl from an upper middle class/upper class Midwest/Southern family depending on how you configure your states. I didn't grow up eating Doritos's, Nutty Butty bars or other general crap. I grew up on an organic diet, home cooked meals, living the life of a foodie-in-training. At 17 I weighed 120lbs at 5'8. I was always athletic, but even as that declined, my body didn't.
Slowly but surely, the downward spiral began. No, I didn't gain the freshman 15- I actually lost weight living in the dorms on a diet that largely consisted of vodka and cheap beer dashed with a bit sushi and frozen entrees from the grocery store in the bottom of my dorm. Maybe it started in the sorority house? Still on party-hardy version of the liquid diet, with the occasional lunch and dinner from the wonderful house cook. But in general, life was still good-trekking along in bikinis during river trips and the leggings and tunics in the winter without a hint of cellulite. Possibly when I moved in by myself and had dinners of cookie dough and Dr. Pepper just because I could. Gym? Nope, always been a perfect size 6. I even managed to study abroad in Italy and not put on a pound living on pasta and red wine. Gosh those were the glory days.
Fast-forward to today. Working on my next two degrees after the Bachelors. Engaged to the cutest guy on God's green earth (who is absolutely in the best shape), great job in higher education...cute clothes, great shoes- you know, the things all girls want. So where did it go wrong? How did I get here today- 190lbs?
I knew the weight had been putting on. Slowly bikinis faded into stylish one pieces which faded into avoiding the pool and beach altogether. Jeans went from a 28 to a 29 to a 30 to now a 31. I'm not exactly small-boned, but I've always been "athletic." Now I'm just soft. Boobs- man, the things I used to want more than anything at a 34B four years ago, have now exploded to a 34DD, and I'd give anything for my mosquito bites back. I've got a trainer, but that only gets me to the gym two days a week for 30 minutes. I eat healthy, but indulgences include wine and good beer, cheese- lots of it, pasta and ice cream. Mmmm ice cream.
And then I looked in the mirror. And stepped on the scale. And had a nice beat down from my image-concerned mother. So today it beings: metabolic reset shake in the morning, Fiber35 shake for lunch, snacks in between and a "sensible" diner. Cardio 2x a day- Lord have mercy on my soul and those around me (I'm mean when I'm hungry). 50lbs to go, ideally in 5-6 months.
Let the journey begin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)